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2010-02-19

How to Deal with Perfectionist

On my very first month in college, I was told by my newly met friend that I am a perfectionist. I was silenced and contemplated deeply why she defined me as such. "Perfectionist" for me was quite a word that denotes a negative character.

I admit to have been keen on details, particular to this and that. I also hated and easily criticize behaviors that I do not find appealing. But, for me, as a teenager then, believed that it was nothings and that I am just believing of what I believe is right. There have also been times when I say "this/that should be this/that." I have unconsciously criticize and corrected people directly because of what they are doing. In the class, I manage to be in control and insist what I think is just and right. I did not want others to take charge because they might be commit mistake. But, I never thought that it is offending.

Calling me "perfectionist" has been also a wake-up call for me. That moment, I reminisced every minute that I was with that college friend and all conversations we had to think clearly what made her think that I am a perfectionist. Since then, I tried to change who I am. That was also the last time I heard someone calling me perfectionist.

In my life, I never thought of meeting a self-proclaimed "perfectionist." Dealing with her was an absolute difficulty. There is no room for a simple mistake. Mistakes committed will definitely be considered as a stain to your character. Every effort you make will not be appreciated even if risk have been made to achieve something remarkable. Any perfect job you make will still be wronged. Whatever you do will still have an invisible holes.

Definitely, there is nothing wrong with being a perfectionist. On the positive side of it, they are needed, especially in the Quality Checking. These are an asset of ensuring the quality and perfection of a thing or product. But, making it as an attitude is an absolute different thing.

Dealing with a perfectionist is like dealing with a rock. Like a rock, it has no heart, no feelings, unyielding, close-minded, and sees only in black and white. As a result, they become selfish and fault-finder without looking into their own mistakes. Meanwhile, there are also perfectionist who are pretentious. They ignore explanations and understanding in order not to admit their mistakes or lapses. These kind of people may be harder to deal with but no worries because they are always the LOSER.

However, dealing with perfectionist is without difficulty. The only thing that should be done to these kind of people is to completely ignore them. Take every opportunity to point out their mistakes. Show them that they are not good enough for what they are because they do not have the gift of understanding. Most importantly, make them realize that there is no such thing as perfect. They deserve the phrase, "Nobody's perfect!" The best thing to do with perfectionist is to make her see herself in the mirror for an hour. If there is no changes despite everything, leave them and live freely outside their shadows.

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